


Angels on the Moon

by Dragonpie



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Sei, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Author is also a lightweight, Awkward situations, Creative Freedom, Emotional Baggage, First Person, Fluff, Fourth Wall Breaking, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Mizuki being a dork, Mizuki can't cook for shit, Non-Sexual Touching, OOC, Panic Attacks, Save Sei 2k15, Sei is a lightweight, Suicide mention, alcohol drinking, author also has no knowledge of how the island works, author has not read/played the thing in months, beni is there too, both Sei's and author's, drug mention, i want to call it fluff, koujaku being a dork, mentions of abuse, mentions of other such things, minor anxiety issues, poor sei, probably, pure awkwardness, save sei 2k16, shame cloud, takes advantage of cannon ambiguity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:25:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4756520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonpie/pseuds/Dragonpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I suppose you've come here to hear a story? Unfortunately I don't have many that take place outside this tower and certainly nothing as happy as what you may read elsewhere. But it would be impolite to argue with my guests, so if you'd still like to hear it, I may have a story worth telling."</p><p>This story takes place in an alternate timeline where it's possible for Sei to be saved. Sei escapes Platinum Jail several months before the original plot begins, and attempts to find Aoba before they're dragged back to the tower. Instead they find Mizuki who although is willing to help, Sei is not sure if he can be trusted. (Better Summary to come.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Story Title Based on a Beautiful Song

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS JUST A PROLOGUE.
> 
> So i started writing this a few months ago but then stopped and now i've started again. i've got enough written that i can comfortably update without running out of words so hopefully this is well received.

If you thought of me as a prisoner, then you might _except_ me to live in a _prison_. My whole world should then be limited to the exact grey of a concrete wall, the smell of blood and other fluids, and the sound of silence which is only broken by my fractured sanity.

You might expect a prison to be dirtier – smaller – less lenient with a person like me. A _person like me_ should be _different._

Well I’m sorry if your expectations aren’t met or if I’m a disappointment.

_If I can’t properly entertain guests then perhaps I don’t deserve any._

Oh but do give me a chance; it’s been a while since I’ve seen new faces.

Please, _please_ sit down. As you can see my world doesn’t span too far, in fact most days not so much as an inch outside of this room. But I have a lot of things – I could have anything I want here, or ten if I had to. One of every colour if I really wanted.

Anything I want – as long as I never leave Oval Tower.

What did I do to be put in a place like this?

It depends who you ask. Some might say nothing while others would say everything. All I really did was exist.

Some people are born with a god given right to be locked away their entire lives. That is where my story starts and where it ends. I was born right here in one of Oval Tower’s labs. I was designed specifically for this life, meant to be a body preferably with an abandoned heart. An empty vessel for them to use. Soft and cooperative always.

And I have been. Always.

_Always_ for one reason.

Because when I was born, gifted the god given right to be imprisoned for life, I wasn’t born alone.

Everyone here at Oval Tower believes my twin brother is dead and for the longest time I believed it too. And during that time there was nothing – _I_ was nothing.

But as I grew older I found I could feel it – another part of me off in a faraway place. I _knew_. I knew it was him, that he was alive, that I had a reason to stay here; so they would have no reason to go looking for _him._

You must think I’m insane by now or that my heart is wrapped tight with an unhealthy brother complex. You might be right.

Oh but this story isn’t about me; why would you want to hear something so dull, a person trapped in a tower year after year? Surely there are more interesting tales out there; things you and I can only dream of. I hope – for your sake more than my own, that there is something truly amazing waiting out there.

For me there’s nothing else.

This is my world.

Beautiful, isn’t it?


	2. The (Not so Great) Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Completely made up history of Sei's stay in Oval Tower, plus first impressions of freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS UNEDITED SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME.  
> there's very little dialogue in this chapter which reeeeeally concerns me cause i know how people get bored, however i didn't want to just jump into the story without any build up before it.

I presume you’ve come to hear a story? Unfortunately I don’t have many that are worth telling.

Should I tell you about the first time they cut me open – when I was 7? If you want a _horror_ story I could tell you how the anaesthetic they were testing out didn’t completely work and how fighting back only made things worse. I could tell you how sixteen years later I still can’t get the smell of blood out of my hair and that sometimes it’s like I can still _feel_ the knife cutting into me.

No? I don’t blame you; if that memory wasn’t etched into my skin then I wouldn’t want to hear about it either.

Should we skip forward to 10?

That was a fun year. They had all kinds of stuff they wanted to put into me; drugs I mean. When they weren’t forcing pills down my throat they were jabbing needles into my arms – sometimes my neck too. There was a huge range of them though their favourites were sleeping pills and addictive little things.

They would give me just enough to get me hooked, then watch me fall apart. I was 10 so I wasn’t above begging – ah but you don’t want to hear about that either, do you?

How about the first time I used Scrap and it didn’t work? 14.

I was small for my age and physically I was a wreck. I couldn’t fight back at all unless with Scarp and I’d saved it for occasions where I was _sure_ I’d need it. But it didn’t work and the fact that I’d tried it made them _angry._ Sometimes I can still smell smoke and the stench of burning flesh – the same smell I associate with _betrayal._

No I’m guessing you wouldn’t want to hear any of it – not of my 16 year old self sobbing in the shower after the first of many _trysts_ – as some might call them – or of 17 year old me who couldn’t stop throwing up and convinced themselves they were pregnant. How I had  planned to end my own life before I could complete my term only to later have it _drilled into me_ that I didn’t have the organs required for carrying a child – though it wasn’t a bad idea to try and implant them into me.

I wish they’d grafted wings onto me instead.

Luckily my body rejected their attempts to alter it to that extent. It meant a lot of sickness afterwards but anything was better than bringing a child into this sort of world.

So what do you think?

A brief history of my life here at Oval Tower. Would you like to hear more of my _stories?_

But I can’t argue with my guests, not when you’ve come such a long way to see me. I guess I can work something out – despite my situation I _do_ have a few happy memories.

See I lied before. When I said I’d been complacent my entire life, that was a lie.

I’m sorry! It wasn’t a big lie but – well books can only entertain a person for so long before they start to wonder what else is out there; isn’t there anything besides these white walls? I wondered that a lot when I was younger. Even now I still wonder.

Now for you to understand everything still to come I have to share the two times I managed to escape Oval Tower.

The first was when I was fifteen.

I had just confirmed that Aoba was alive and obviously I had to see him – _no matter what._ I had to get back that missing piece of me – back then I thought I would sacrifice _anything,_ even if that meant condemning Aoba to the same hell.

That first time, I made it out into Platinum Jail but once I got into the crowds I froze. There were too many people. They were too close. It was hard to walk without people touching me and every inch of space was taken up.

I couldn’t breathe over the sound of endless chatter, and people moving on every side of me fuelled the part of my brain which was afraid of being hurt. I tried to watch every person at the same time until my sight blurred with tears and my paranoid mind commanded my heart to stop.

It wasn’t long before the authorities were notified.

Numerous claims of a deranged child having made it into Platinum Jail. Screaming, crying, and disturbing the peace.

They didn’t want me to disrupt their perfect little world – nobody cared about _me_.

I was curled up in a corner for days afterwards; feeling that if I pressed hard enough against it the wall would come to life and swallow me whole.

Security was increased. For a while I had the Alphas as added company – they helped me deal with some of my issues while keeping an eye on me. I was told it was okay and I wasn’t in trouble for trying to escape but the way people treated me started to change, like I was wrong for trying to be free.

After that I never wanted to leave again.

Oh but I did say _two_ didn’t I?

_Two_ times I escaped.

_Well,_ I was always quite sick growing up and it got worse because of what they did to me. But when I was 23 I figured out I would die by the end of the year if I stayed, and that gave me the courage to leave again.

Are you getting the picture now? You’re sitting in a room listening to a dead person talking about the life they never had.

Wouldn’t you rather be _anywhere_ else?

No? Well I suppose if I must, I could tell you about the second time I escaped.

* * *

The first and only time I made it _out_ of Platinum Jail I had a bit of help. Virus and Trip, two _friendly_ not-twins, had been around the tower on and off for years. They weren’t the best of people and nothing came without a price for them but they were my only choice.

Even with their help escaping still wasn’t easy. I was Toue’s most precious treasure after all. But they knew the system better than anyone else inside the building and although it was a complicated process they managed to sneak me past every inch of security in the place. I thought it was amazing how little they cared about the consequences; they just wanted to make trouble! And I let them.

We went the long way – so I was told – to the main part of Midorijima. They led me through a series of tunnels and it occurred several times that they could’ve kept me there rather than keeping their promises. It _seemed_ like something they might do, but they didn’t. And within a matter of hours we surfaced.

You should know, that in Platinum Jail it was always night. My entire life I’d never seen the sun.

It’s silly – how something so simple could make my heart soar.

A true symbol of every unspoken rule I had just broken and every consequence which was to come but oh, it felt _amazing._ Even if it was only the tips of my fingers, stretching out into that _warmth_ it was magic.

But enough about that – surely you’re not interested by my first breath of _real_ air or my first genuine shiver. Such things are mundane – the type of thing that was _made_ to be taken for granted. It’s human nature to be unappreciative of things that never change.

I was lead through Midorijima until we reached the old residential district. We had come up in such a desolate place where shadows were cast everywhere by wrecked buildings and the smell of sewage hung pungent in the air. But in this new area my whole body was submerged in sunlight and an array of different scents flooded through my nose associating themselves in my mind immediately as freedom, happiness, an overwhelming dread that this was all a dream.

The looks people gave me in this new world varied from questioning the company I kept, to the type of look that suggested the giver wanted to _eat you._ It was a look I knew all too well and it made me nauseous. Subconsciously I walked closer between Virus and Trip, trying to make myself disappear or at least discourage people from seeing me.

“Uh-uh, you can’t cling to us forever,” Virus teased. He’d always been slightly nicer to me but now his words were bleeding indifference. “You wanted to be free didn’t you? Sooner or later you’ll end up on your own. _Then_ what will you do?”

I didn’t know how to answer.

Trip spoke next, his voice lacking that practiced kindness his counterpart wore as a constant mask.

“We’ve got business to attend elsewhere and we can’t have _you_ hanging around,” he said. It sounded more like an excuse to get rid of me. “If you need help I’m sure Toue will be happy to drag you back to your tower.”

I wanted to beg them not to leave me there but past experience kept me from screaming out into the crowds they disappeared into.

They’d left me in front of a Junk Shop where the street was pretty clear. I didn’t have a plan so I figured if I walked around aimlessly I might miraculously run in to him – or that connection I felt with him would lead me right to him.

Aoba was my _whole world_ and he didn’t even know I existed.

I was completely alone though I was no stranger to that feeling; whether in a crowd of strangers or in a crumpled mess on the floor of a white room – loneliness had the same sting as always.

I took every main street I could though I didn’t get too far. As I went deeper into town I found more and more people, until the streets were so congested I couldn’t even move.

The alpha’s method for breathing control – and essentially staying calm – was to match my breathing to the rhythm of my footsteps. It was practical, since we moved very slowly in Oval Tower and there was no way I would be upset by the little things if I was consistent. But this part of the world was _so_ fast that my usual pace got me in trouble – caused people to shove me out of the way and mutter profanities under their breath. It made me walk faster, my usual rhythm lost to a panic response – the exact thing it was designed to deflect.

But they couldn’t have known – it wasn’t for _real world_ application after all.

So I started to walk fast and in turn my breathing sped up.

I couldn’t control my own thoughts any longer and paranoia crept up my spine like a parasite. The human walls around me began to close up. My mind replaced the sun with bright fluorescent lights, the shadows with the natural darkness of Oval Tower. The everyday kind of people surrounding me suddenly donned white coats and big shiny smiles.

I was fifteen again, in Platinum Jail, outside my tower for the first time and on my knees in the middle of a large street, screaming for somebody to help me only to be reported and removed. I was the kid who was way over their head. The kid who didn’t know what they were doing in life. The kid who couldn’t survive on their own – who was only alive to be hurt and broken down and used.

I couldn’t go back – not again.

I ducked into a side street and ran until I couldn’t hear anything.

Slumping against the wall for support, I tilted my head towards the sky to hold back my tears.

I’d come real close to actually panic, and had to pause and catch my breath.

I wasn’t alone for long; two men stumbled into my little nook in the alley. One had red hair and the other had green. They were talking loudly, filling the dark, dirty space with raucous laughter. Until they saw me, that is.

“Oi,” one of them called out, “Don’t you know it’s dangerous to be in a place like this all by yourself?”

“Yeah,” the other agreed, his voice still filled with hints of laughter, “You never know who might come along – or what they might do.”

Their words held a warning of what would happen if I didn’t run away right then. But my feet were stuck to the ground, a ball of lead weighing heavily in my stomach.

I know; damsel in distress is a cliché. It happens to be one that I enjoy a whole lot.

Unfortunately if that’s the storyline you came here for you’re going to be disappointed.

The two men looked me up and down with that same look I had seen so many times before. It made my skin crawl, as bad memories forced their way to the forefront of my mind.

But this time I wasn’t going to let it happen – I wasn’t going to let them get close to me.

The moment I caught their eyes it was over.

Back in Oval Tower I never had a choice. They could do whatever they wanted to me.

But not out here – not a chance. I was in control of what happened to my body –

Watching two guys hit the ground has never been so satisfying.

Then I heard feet scraping against the concrete behind me, and a voice asked, “Hey are you –” then they must’ve seen the bodies at my feet, “– okay?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we get Mizuki in this chapter. at least my warped version of him. I love Mizuki almost as much as I love Sei and i tend to do this weird thing to things i love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNBETAD SO BEAR WITH IT.  
> If i update Bi-Weekly, does that mean i update twice a week or once every two weeks?

His name was Mizuki and the very next thing he said to me was, “Whoa, you took both those guys out by yourself?”

His face was plastered with a huge, charming smile despite the situation we were in and I wondered if that were just his default setting. It reminded me of the smile Virus always wore around me. But this man didn’t look dangerous at all; he looked more like the kind of person who would get right in your face and say _“Do you wanna join my gang?”_ then apologize for invading your personal space.

He waited patiently for me to speak, even as I choked on my voice the first few times. His patience reminded me of the way the Alpha’s treated me which was a comforting contrast.

“They deserved it,” I mumbled defensively.

“Oh don’t worry; I believe you,” he said. “Guys like this – they’re always picking on a friend of mine. Where’d you learn to do that anyway?”

“I didn’t learn – it can’t really be taught.”

I didn’t understand what I’d said to make him laugh, but it was so different from what I knew. This was _nice_. It didn’t promise suffering later to come, it was just _there._

“So uh – where are you heading?” he asked me, “I mean, I can walk you there if you want – guys like that won’t bother you if you’re with me.”

He averted his eyes, scratching the back of his neck while waiting for my answer.

“Thank you,” I said, “But I – I wasn’t heading anywhere. I have nowhere to be.”

“Nowhere to be,” he echoed, as though the words had several possible meanings. He looked at me as though seeing me for the first time – when it was actually the _second_ – and said, “I was just heading back to Black Needle, the tattoo studio,” he trailed off for a moment before, “why don’t you come with me? I’m sure the owner wouldn’t mind inking you free of charge.”

“Oh, I don’t think I want a tattoo,” I said. I watched his face fall slightly.

I knew I couldn’t go with him, even if he _was_ completely harmless. But as soon as I made the decision to decline his offer, a wave of guilt crashed over me.

Mizuki was only trying to be nice. Why did _I_ have to be so _mean_ and _untrusting?_

“B-but I’d love to come with you – if you’ll still let me,” I stammered.

“Of course!” his smile was back full force.

He reached out to grab my arm but stopped when my whole body tensed up and I took several steps back.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

I tried to tell him it was fine – that _I_ was the one at fault – but he brushed it off and said boundaries were important. What a strange concept.

The town was a lot nicer with Mizuki guiding me through it.

He was right; a lot of people steered clear of us while others went out of their way to approach us. They would talk to Mizuki for a few moments before they noticed me and something dawned on them causing them to abruptly leave.

A few of them smiled and greeted me as well, but eventually they all backed off.

“Ah, I’m sorry about them,” Mizuki said after the fourth time we were interrupted. “I guess it was false advertising when I said nobody would bother you.”

“They’re not bothering me,” I said quietly. “I think it’s nice that you have so many _friends._ ”

Of course I knew that wasn’t the best word to describe them, if the Rib tattoo beneath Mizuki’s eye was anything to go by.

“Uh yeah,” he flashed me that brilliant smile again and said, “Actually most of them are part of my Rib team.”

In response I said, “You’re still a part of Rib?” as if I didn’t already know, “I was certain _Rhyme_ was the most popular thing now.”

Mizuki’s expression soured at the mention of Rhyme.

“So you’re a rhyme player?” he asked.

“No,” I quickly said, hoping it would be enough to appease him. “It’s just – something I heard about.”

“Ah,” again his smile quickly returned, “So you’re not part of either, right? Well you know, my Rib team is the biggest of them all – not that I’m trying to convince you to join or anything –”

I surprised both of us right then by cutting him off with a stifled giggle. The sound escaped me before I even felt it bubbling inside my throat, while tears pooled around the corners of my eyes. Like my body couldn’t decide whether to be terrified or amused.

_“I’m sorry,_ ” I whispered. I tried to hide my puffed up cheeks and smile behind my hands.

His eyes widened a fraction and he turned his head slightly.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked. “I mean, those guys didn’t do anything to you did they?”

“Are you kidding? They didn’t even get close,” I said.

We continued to walk through the town, talking on and off about nothing in particular while he led me through a mix of main and side streets. After a while we stepped into a crowded street, flooded almost entirely with women.

“We probably shouldn’t go this way,” Mizuki said, more to himself than to me. He mumbled under his breath about semi-psychotic fangirls and some guy named Koujaku.

I had no problem with the change of direction – he was the expert not me – but as we changed course I was sure I could feel Aoba’s presence somewhere amidst the swarm of women.

Was it too much to hope that this time he felt it too?

* * *

 

Late afternoon sunlight melted quickly into an early evening haze.

Mizuki was quick to lead me back to the Black Needle after our change in direction.

There were tons of people hanging around outside, sitting on the stairs leading down to the door, and the space beyond that. People had to lean over to make room for us down the stairs and I tried not to think of how easy it would be to fall, when my legs brushed against people’s arms or shoulders.

I stood stone still with their eyes on me; sizing me up. Some appeared friendlier than others but I knew not to believe their expressions – instead I searched for hidden intentions in their eyes.

I walked closer to Mizuki, treating him as I would Virus or Trip. I had a firm belief that even if _they_ hurt me, they wouldn’t let others do the same and placing the same belief onto Mizuki gave the situation a familiar feel.

“Hey Mizuki, who’s the guy?” one of the women seated on the stairs called out.

_“Not a guy,”_ I mumbled.

Mizuki looked back at me.

“You’re _not?”_ He asked.

I shook my head.

“But – you –?”

His eyes lingered a little too long on my chest and he looked away, a small blush on his face.

Truthfully I’d never identified with either gender more than the other. It was something I’d read about when I was younger – something the Alpha’s helped me understand better about myself. But I’d never been in a position where that information was relevant – it was interesting to see Mizuki’s reaction – or adamant _un-reaction._

“What _are_ you then?”

“I’m just _Sei.”_

The people around us lost interest quite quickly, even the woman who’d asked about me. Mizuki tried his best to deal with this new revelation, and led me to the door.

There was a large neon-blue sign hanging over it, boasting the name of the place, and a much smaller sign on the door itself which read _closed,_ but clearly not to everybody.

He stepped inside and flicked on the lights, waiting patiently while I decided what I wanted to do. He didn’t stare or pressure me to make up my mind, but pretended instead to be occupied with other things until I came inside.

The walls were purple and plastered with scores of tattoo designs, even the surface of the counter and its’ slightly smaller walls were covered almost completely. There was a bar on the opposite side of the room, taking up an entire corner and lit up with more neon lights. Glasses hung upside down and the shelves behind the bar were lit up with a blue backlight.

It was nothing like the clubs in Platinum Jail, which I’d heard Virus and Trip describe. This was nothing like home at all.

“So this is it; Black Needle, official HQ of my Rib team Dry Juice,” Mizuki stated, “This is just the waiting room – there’s a studio in the back if you change your mind.”

His smile didn’t waver this time when I bowed my head and mumbled, “No thanks.”

We were the only ones inside and I found myself thinking this was the perfect set up. But the walls stayed where they were and nobody came in to drag me back to Oval Tower.

Mizuki got behind the bar while I continued to look around.

“Do you want a drink?” he asked me. “Wait, you’re eighteen, right?”

“Older,” I mumbled, not sure if he heard me.

I hadn’t ever drunk before so when he gestured for me to sit at the bar I just stared at him dubiously.

 “It’s not poison,” he said, giving me a crooked smile, “promise.”

Again I was faced with the choice to either decline and feel terrible, or keep him happy by doing something I didn’t want to do.

“You don’t have to,” he continued, “I mean; I don’t want to get you drunk. But maybe if you relaxed a little you could tell me why you came to this part of Midorijima.”

“Maybe I live here,” I said quietly.

“But you _don’t.”_

I frowned. I _could_ live in this part of the island.

Mizuki pushed a glass in front of me which looked like it was full of water, but when I tried it – attempting to down it all at once – it felt more like fire pouring down my throat. I didn’t realize I was coughing until I felt his hand on my lower back and heard his voice right in my ear.

“You’ll end up killing yourself if you drink so fast,” he said. The next glass he pushed into my hands _was_ water.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, “That was my first drink”

“Really?” he asked. “You _sure_ you’re over eighteen?”

I nodded and watched him go back behind the bar.

“I haven’t been exposed to many things,” I explained.

“Ah, you’re one of the lucky ones,” he hummed. He started messing around with the bottles behind him, looking at the labels until he found what he was looking for. “Want to try again? This one won’t burn so much.”

I nodded and said, “Okay,” knowing that the time to leave had come and passed. “But, not by myself.”

That carefree smile was back again.

“Of course not; where’s the fun in that?”

He poured two very small glasses of the new drink – this one was bright green – and pushed one towards me, downing his own like it was nothing. With the burning taste of the last glass still fresh in my throat I was a tad wary, but Mizuki said nothing. He waited patiently while I dipped my finger into the small glass and lifted it to my mouth to have a taste.

He was right, it didn’t burn, and it filled my mouth with a sweet taste which the last drink lacked.

I followed Mizuki’s lead, tipping my head back and pouring the shot into my mouth. My throat closed for a second, refusing to take it down without a little push and I found that while it didn’t _taste_ bad, it felt terrible.

Mizuki laughed at the scrunched up face I was making.

_“Cute,”_ he cooed.

“I don’t like it,” I said. I sighed and looked towards the ceiling, already feeling a little numb. “This isn’t where I thought I’d end up today.”

“Oh?” he asked. The rest of his question remained unvoiced.

I shook my head and pushed the empty glass towards him. I wasn’t drun– _relaxed_ yet.

We continued the same routine over and over again. Take a shot, ask a question, get shot down, and repeat. I started to feel it affecting me quite quickly. His questions were usually related to why I was there, where I was going, if I was in trouble, but I did a valiant job of deflecting him.

Then after what must’ve only been the eighth shot I decided to turn the tables.

“Okay – okay, but what about you? What were _you_ doing in that alley?” I asked him, “and why,” _hiccup,_ “Why – why did you help me?”

Mizuki shrugged, avoiding eye contact with me.

“I heard you scream – I thought you might be in trouble.”

“No – no I didn’t –” I started to say, but a vision quickly stole my voice.

Not one of me in the alley with those men, but a 13 year old version of me dressed in a teal hospital gown, bare feet clenching against floors where blood hid beneath lavender disinfectant. A man approached, holding a syringe, his shiny smile the only notable feature as the rest of him was shrouded in black. I tried to push further into the wall – to disappear – to force my heart to beat so fast that it stopped and killed me.

A scream left my throat, “ _stay away from me!”_ just as it had in the alley before I’d unleashed scrap on those two men. But like most horrible memories I tried _not to remember it._

“Hey, you okay?” I felt a hand on my shoulder and pushed it away, falling from my seat onto the ground.

“ _Don’t_ –don’t touch me,” I bit out.

My feet clawed at the ground, trying to escape whatever fresh hell I’d been pushed into.

The alcohol in my system blurred the room, making it harder to find an exit. If I found one I would run – this time I would really do it.

“Sei, it’s alright,” a voice called, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Like I hadn’t heard that before.

My back hit a wall and I pulled my knees up against my chest, burying my head in the space there. Tears soaked into my hands quickly, and saturated the fabric beneath my fingers.

I could hear a distant sound – not a voice just a sound. Like clapping but duller; without that sharp edge. The pace was really fast to begin with and I was sure my heart was pounding at the same rate but it gradually began to slow down and I found myself tapping the same rhythm into my skin. Eventually it slowed so much that I was reminded to breathe normally.  When my breathing regulated to a deep in and out pattern, that voice from before spoke up.

“Sei it’s not real,” it said, “it can’t hurt you.”

I looked up, my eyes blurred this time by tears. I blinked a few times until I was able to focus and see Mizuki sitting in front of me, his hands still moving in the same rhythm I was breathing to. I was rushed back to reality.

_It was just a memor – just a **nightmare.**_

_I was safe. **Safe.**_

Mizuki seemed to realize I was back from wherever I’d gone, and started to apologize for invading my personal space, only to stammer to a stop when I launched myself into his arms and started to cry again. The familiar clouds of guilt and shame burst over me as they usually did when I couldn’t control myself.

Slowly I felt his arms wrap around me, softly as though not sure what would set me off again.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into his chest.

“D-don’t be,” he whispered into my hair.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly drunk antics: Sei has very little reference for when sex is applicable in the real world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNBETAD SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME.

All was quiet in the waiting room of the Black Needle.

The smell of alcohol hung in the air and on Mizuki’s breath as he stroked my hair awkwardly and whispered literal nothings into my ear.

“Do you feel better now?” he asked.

I nodded. I felt awful. Melting down in front of a complete stranger – he didn’t deserve this! It wasn’t his problem! Why did I have to be such a _burden?_

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“We just met,” I reminded him.

“I’ve done a lot more with people I knew less about,” he replied.

I buried my head deeper into his chest and mumbled, “You know _nothing_ about me.”

“Oh really?” his hands left my body and he ticked each finger as he counted what he knew, “apparently very strong, emotionally fragile, light-weight, probably a virgin –”

_“Probably wrong,”_ I muttered bitterly.

The drunk side of my mind wondered _very_ briefly if lack of consent preserved innocence.

“R-really?” Mizuki stammered.

I plastered on a smile he couldn’t see.

“You’d be surprised~” I sang.

_But not in a good way._

Silence hung around us for a while; an uninvited guest to our private moment while Mizuki worked to collect his thoughts. Apparently not as sober as he’d first seemed.

“So uh – so then that would mean you’re – in a relationship?” he asked.

And I laughed. I honestly didn’t mean to, but at the same time how could I not?

I laughed so hard that I tumbled onto my back, dragging him down with me. So _loud_ I was sure they would be able to hear it all the way in Oval Tower. I laughed an ugly laugh that deteriorated into snorts and hiccups, while Mizuki hovered over me wearing a confused expression.

“No!” I exclaimed, gasping for air. My laughter howled back to life. “No! No, no, no!”

I shook my head, tears spilling from my eyes because it _hurt_ but it was just so funny.

_Me_. together with _them_ or any of the others who had hurt me?

“Oh god, that’s hysterical,” I whined, wiping my eyes.

I looked up, still sniffling away the last bouts of laughter, only to be startled by his sea foam eyes staring right into mine.

“What?” I asked, perplexed by the stunned look on his face.

“Nothing,” he quickly said, “But you uh – you look _pretty_ , when you laugh.”

Heat pool against my cheeks and I looked away.

Mizuki got to his feet slowly and helped me up along with him. He treated me delicately, like I was about to break again. Like _anything_ would set me off.

“So you ready to tell me why you’re here?” He asked, “I mean, you obviously don’t have a home to go back to, so we could have another drink if you’re not ready.”                                                                                       

I shrugged and looked towards the bar.

“Maybe just a little more,” I said, “If you don’t mind.”

“If you think you can handle it.”

“It won’t happen again,” I assured him.

I headed back towards the bar only to have him stop me.

Mizuki grabbed the green bottle off the counter and turned to me with a mischievous look.

“Why don’t we go upstairs?” he said, “The views better from my bedroom.”

I returned the look while telling my mind to stop screaming.

“Anywhere’s fine.”

At least if I got drunk I wouldn’t remember it the next day.

Mizuki led me through the back of the studio and up a flight of stairs into his tiny studio apartment. He pointed at various areas saying _kitchen, bedroom,_ and _bathroom_ towards a door.

The place was surprisingly well kept, despite its’ dingy walls and the lingering smell of spoiled eggs. Maybe it was because there was hardly any furniture except the bed and a small table in the main area of the room, and a kitchen which looked like it came with the building.

Nothing like the pristine white of my own room in Oval Tower. This place felt more like a home.

Mizuki placed the bottle onto the small table facing the window. He turned his back to me and drunk-Sei took that as our cue to undress.

I pulled off my shirt and tossed it to the ground, my belt following quickly after. The room was spinning as I struggled to stay steady. My alcohol soaked mind was at constant risk of letting out a stream of giggles as I began to work on my pants.

Mizuki stumbled around in the dark for a few moments until he managed to pull open the curtains. He turned back around, words obviously at the tip of his tongue, only to freeze.

The look on his face was amazing.

“W-what are you doing?” he _squawked_.

Then it was my turn to stop, fingers frozen in the loops of my pants.

“Did – did you _not_ invite me up here to have sex?” I asked.

“No!” he exclaimed. He finally looked at me – having politely averted his eyes before – and his eyes lingered over the expanses of my freshly exposed skin. His cheeks tinted red and he looked away again, “I mean I _didn’t_ – but we _could_ if you – no, we really shouldn’t. We _just_ met!”

“You’ve done more with people you knew less about,” I reminded him.

“Yeah but they weren’t like you.”

“Not like me,” I repeated quietly. It wasn’t the biggest understatement I’d heard but it was still monumental. “So we’re _not_ having sex?”

“No! I-I don’t think so.”

“You’re not sure?”

“I – no we’re _not_.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and said, “So why _did_ you bring me here?”

He gestured towards the uncovered windows.

“I thought you’d like the view.”

I looked up at the large, wall length window. Through the impossibly clear glass was a sight I’d never seen before;

_So many of them. So bright. So far away._

It was something I had dreamed of seeing for the longest time.

The inky night sky stretched on out the window for all eternity. A million worlds nobody would ever see. It reminded me that we were all just birds, some equipped with mechanical wings and the means to fly while others were bound to the ground forever.

Mine wasn’t the only world which was tiny. We were _all_ _trapped_ to some extent.

“Sei?” Mizuki called.

I blinked and found I’d moved myself closer to the glass, longing to see more. Shirts and other common decencies be damned.

“Sei, where did those scars come from?”

* * *

 

So maybe I have a few scars here and there. With everything I’ve told you, you ought not to be surprised.

And so maybe by _a few_ I actually mean my body is a colouring book, depicting the horrors of my past, and the aftermath of the price I had to pay for getting out of Platinum Jail. But so what?

“Sei?”

Mizuki’s voice was closer this time but not close enough to touch me.

“If I’m crossing some sort of line, just tell me,” he said.

“You’re not,” I whispered, “Just don’t – don’t run away.”

It was silent for the longest time after those words left my mouth; almost like he was waging a war inside his mind trying to find a hidden meaning behind them, or trying to decide whether or not he _should_ run.

I stared at the stars with clearer eyes, sobered somewhat by the sudden flashback to my own reality. I couldn’t make out any constellations, despite the numerous books I’d read about them. The lights of Midorijima cancelled out a lot of the stars true beauty, but it didn’t take away from the sight. None of it would’ve mattered anyway; those constellations, they held no meaning in the real world.

_Just like me._

But if I could rearrange the stars, give them a new meaning, what kind of picture would I create?

A crown? A dragon – or two? A _tower?_

I raised my hand and began to trace patterns in the sky, connecting the stars as though the entire world were a sketch book and I were an artist with godlike power.

I would make a true sight to behold.

Mizuki took advantage of my distracted state, and started to trace lines between the scars on my back.

I didn’t mind the touching – his hands were warm and the feel of his blunt nails gliding over my skin tickled, it was actually nice. His actions held no malicious – or sexual – intent. It was _different._

He took my silence as a bad sign.

“Is – is this okay?” he asked quietly.

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I just nodded.

His finger traced over a large scar along my hip, which continued to the front of my body. His nail scraped over the line lightly and he made a noise which sounded like concern.

“Where did this one come from?” he asked.

“Surgery,” I answered immediately.

“Were you sick as a child?” he asked.

He brushed my hair aside to trace a burn mark between my shoulder blades.

“Still am,” I replied.

Mizuki hummed. “That explains a lot. But – were you always sick, or did it come after all of this?”

“You’re crossing the line,” I whispered, as his fingers _literally_ crossed the line onto my stomach, tracing the numerous scars there with feather light touches. His chin rested on my shoulder, giving him a better view.

Mizuki asked if I wanted another drink and I declined, saying I didn’t want to move and I didn’t want him to either. So we sat there in silence for a while longer, enveloped purely in each other’s presence.

I sighed pleasantly while his fingers continued to roam across the planes of my stomach. It was almost as though he were erasing every bad touch with his pure intentions – like he could wipe away the poisonous past from my skin.

“What will you do tomorrow?” Mizuki asked. “I don’t want to know so that I can stalk you – I wouldn’t do that, at least I don’t think I would but stalkers aren’t always _born_ they’re sometimes made, aren’t they? Oh um, anyway I just mean, if you need to be somewhere specific I can help you out?”

“I don’t know _where_ I’m going,” I confessed. “They didn’t tell me.”

“ _They?”_ he pressed.

“Line.”

“Right so – I can’t ask about your life or where you came from. Can I at least ask what you’re looking for?”

He sounded so hopeful, I didn’t want to just let him down but I couldn’t tell him about Aoba – just in case he wasn’t who he said he was. Toue controlled most of Midorijima so he could have people _everywhere_ looking for me by now.

“No,” I said. “But you can still help me, if you’re up for a challenge.”

He hummed, pretending to think about it while his hand made its way back into my hair, curling it absently around his fingers.

“Are you sure _you_ know what you’re looking for?” he asked.

“I’ll know it when I see it. Do we have a deal?”

“Y-yeah, of course!” he exclaimed, “Wait we’re not going to be breaking the law are we?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a transition chapter really. Virus and Trip make a very minor cameo for plot convenience(because theres totally a plot here??) and rain!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot? What Plot? this is honestly just an outlet for me to express my love for Sei. i have a lot written down in several different notebooks but none of it is in order.

“Sei? Wake up.”

In the Tower I tend to wake up swinging. If I’m able to move at all. But that particular morning I woke up without my memories, and no reason to try escaping my own skin.

So instead all I did was roll over – and end up falling off the bed.

“Morning princess,” Mizuki called from the kitchen portion of the room.

The previous day rushed back to me, smashing through my body like a brick breaking water.

I was no longer in Oval Tower, no longer in Platinum Jail – I was no longer a prisoner. I had shed the shackles of my own god given rights – at least for an afternoon.

Oh but Toue was going to be so mad when he found me.

If he found me.

If I lived that long.

I looked up at Mizuki through bleary eyes.

_“Princess?”_ I asked.

His eyes widened a fraction.

“Ah, sorry,” he stammered. To himself he said, “they should have a gender-neutral term with the same kind of endearment.”

“It’s fine,” I told him, “I don’t hate it.”

I braced a hand against the bed and pushed myself up into a seated position on the floor.

My memories of the night before were a bit of a blur; after a while we’d resumed drinking and the empty bottle lay somewhere beneath the bed. At some point I must’ve redressed and climbed into bed – any other scenario just didn’t sit right in my stomach.

I let out a loud yawn, stretching my hands above my head.

Mornings are the worst. Though judging by the light streaming in from the still open curtains, it wouldn’t be morning much longer.

Mizuki handed me a mug and sat down beside me, holding a matching one.

“Do you feel sick?” he asked. “You didn’t drink a lot – but it was your first time.”

“I feel fine.”

I stared dubiously at the dark liquid sloshing around in the cup. It had a nice smell but I could hardly trust my senses after last night.

“It’s coffee,” Mizuki said, “well it’s _supposed_ to be – but I’m sort of out of milk and sugar so it’s really just brown water. It’ll taste terrible but it should help you wake up.”

I took a sip and scrunched my nose at the bitter taste that hit my tongue.

“This is still better than what I usually wake up to,” I muttered.

Morning wake up calls when I was younger – not so much since after fifteen – ranged from anywhere between sirens, to being physically dragged to the ground until I was able to shake the person off.

Mizuki tried it himself.

“That can’t be true,” he said, holding the mug as far away from himself as possible.

It actually wasn’t so bad and I managed to swallow it all down in two tries.

“That’s disgusting,” Mizuki said, his eyes fixed on me, “if you’re still around tomorrow I’ll _buy_ coffee.”

“That’ll only happen if you don’t do a good job _today.”_

Mizuki groaned.

“How am I supposed to be helpful when I have no idea what we’re doing?”

* * *

 

It was mid-afternoon by the time we left. Mizuki said he’d tried waking me earlier but apparently I was a heavy sleeper.

When we went downstairs there were people everywhere. Most of them were part of Dry Juice while some were people actually waiting to be tattooed. I walked close to Mizuki as we navigated through the space. The looks I was getting this time weren’t predatory but seemed rather amused.

“Where should we go?” Mizuki asked once we were outside.

“Would it be stupid to retrace our steps?” I replied.

I thought maybe Virus and Trip left me where they left me for a reason. They probably knew I would try to run as far as I could from any place they could find me – it seemed like the kind of thing they would do.

“That’s fine I guess… though it looks like it might rain.”

I looked up to see the sky’s deep blue replaced with a dreary mix of grey and white. It was every bit as beautiful as the first colours I had seen yesterday.

“Oh – will it _snow?”_ I asked.

“No. it’s too early for that. It probably won’t snow for a few more months.”

“Oh. Well rain should be just as good right? I’ve never seen _real_ rain.”

He looked at me like I was a sad puppy, but didn’t say a thing. I guess fawning over mundane things was an eye catcher in the real world where they fawned over only the most extraordinary of things.

The streets were just as crowded as they had been the day before. Everything was so loud and lively, and I found I didn’t mind so much this time around. That was until we got to places which were more congested, where there was hardly any space for me to move without being touched. Every little touch made me want to run right back to Oval Tower.

It was something I would probably never get over; at least not in the amount of time I had left. Once we were able to escape the busiest places we travelled mostly through side-streets and dodgy looking alleyways.

“Is it me, or are there more people out today?” I asked.

“It’s because of the rain. They’re all trying to get their days over before it comes,” Mizuki explained, “Is that not a problem where you come from?”

“I don’t know,” I said absently. Not a complete lie.

“You don’t know _much_ do you?”

“Nothing that has any application out here.”

“Yet you know some killer self-defence techniques.”

“Yeah,” I gave an emotionless smile, “that’s the one thing I know which has no application at home.”

We were silent for a moment and I thought maybe I’d said the wrong thing. I hadn’t messed up with Mizuki so far but one wrong word could leave me on the streets. That’s how people out here worked, wasn’t it?

He was quick to change the subject after that; the implications of my words seemed too heavy at that moment.

“So – exactly what kind of terrorist _are_ you?” he asked.

_“What?”_

“That’s what you are right? You’re just not good at it – which explains why you need _my_ help. So we’re _probably_ looking for a weapon of mass-destruction and I’ll later be arrested as your accomplice.”

“Well I guess _that_ part is true,” I conceded, “Oh I mean the weapon part, not the arrest part. They’ll probably leave you alone.”

_“Probably,”_ he echoed.

I laughed at the mixed expression on his face; like he was uncomfortable with the joke he’d started.

“ _Well_ just how many terrorists do you know?” I asked.

“Just _you.”_

I opened my mouth to tell him I _wasn’t_ – and _technically_ I wasn’t. I may have been able to induce a mass amount of _terror_ with my abilities but as property of the government I wasn’t classed as a terrorist. But the words didn’t make it out. I may as well have choked on them.

We were in a pretty narrow, shady street and up until right then we’d been the only ones there. But – as though they’d been tracking me the entire time – Virus and Trip walked in out of an even shadier street. Probably out conducting some obscure business which could only be done in the seediest corners of the world.

Virus was droning on about only god knows what – Trip probably wasn’t listening at all – but the two came to a standstill and _Trip_ was the first to look my way. Like he could _sense_ me.

I’d been thinking about it non-stop since they left my side – about when they were gonna pop out of nowhere yelling _“just kidding!”_ and drag me back to the tower. But that’s not what happened.

Virus stopped talking and followed Trip’s eyes. When he saw me he smiled in that familiar way that made me feel so _small._ I was frozen in place just waiting for the world to beginning crumbling around me. But it didn’t.

They walked away as though they hadn’t seen me at all.

As though they didn’t know me.

They were really leaving it up to Toue to track me down. Or maybe that was what they wanted me to think. How did I know they weren’t following me everywhere I went? Just – just _waiting_ for the perfect moment to steal everything away from me _again._

Oh and now they’d seen Mizuki, which mean he could be in danger too.

My stomach sank with that thought.

“Sei?”

I hadn’t moved in minutes. Mizuki had kept going, unaware that I wasn’t following him. He’d only now realized and come back to see if I was alright.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I said quietly. I stumbled over to a wall and leaned against it, the weight of my own body now too heavy for me to handle. “I just need a moment. Please.”

I covered my eyes with my hands, squeezing them shut. I wanted to believe I was somewhere else. Like at a beach – something I had only ever read about – feeling sand for the first time or swallowing too much sea water and not caring how many people had spat in it. Or somewhere surrounded by a blanket of snow, watching it melt on my fingertips and land in my hair.

Or – or in a small room. Very small. Too small. A room in Oval Tower – a non-direct punishment for running away. A room where times stops and the only sound in the world is the rapid-fire beating of my own heart and there’s no reason to believe anything else exists.

I thought I was going to die.

Isn’t that what usually happens when panic becomes too much – you start to feel like you’ll die if it gets any worse. You don’t even think about the state you’re in; curled up on the dirty ground of an alley, sobbing silently into hands which _ached_ to tear your own face clean off – breathing so ragged it might just stop.

Nothing to keep you grounded.

That’s the hardest part – staying grounded.

I was expecting to be yanked by my hair out of my little hell and back into the real one. Instead I was left inside my tiny room clinging to a continuous dull clapping sound. The rhythm slowed gradually and the walls of my room faded into darkness.

Then I was able to move again. I dug my nails into my skin, trying to draw myself back to the present. I held my breath until I was sure I would be able to let it out, good and slow.

It was just like the night before in the Black Needle. Mizuki was sitting in front of me – not too close – clapping his hands together idly. Maybe he didn’t even realize what he was doing. Maybe he was trying to match _me._

Again once my panic ended I was enveloped by a very different set of emotions.

_Why couldn’t I control myself?_

_Every little thing set me off!_

_I didn’t belong out here with normal people._

_They might as well just take me back_ now.

Mizuki stopped moving when I started hitting my head against the wall. I heard shuffling and then, “Sei, is it alright?”

My breath hitched and I nodded, giving permission I was sure I wasn’t qualified to give. I felt his arm wrap around my waist; warm and _real_ , pulling me against him softly with room to escape if I needed to.

“That was worse than last night,” Mizuki said, resting his head on top of mine. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I –”

“I know. It’s not your fault,” he said. And it was all he said.

He didn’t even question what had set me off. Like it didn’t matter – but in a nice way.

We stayed there for the longest time. Just like in the Black Needle. He waited until it seemed like I was completely fine. He was careful with the way he touched me, actively responding to every move I made. Always soft and sweet in a way I’d never experienced before.

That was until the sky opened with a loud _crack,_ causing my head to snap upwards, catching the first drop of rain on my nose.

“What was that?” I whispered, horrified.

“Thunder,” Mizuki stated, clearly holding back laughter, “Never heard of it?”

I shook my head, my heart almost stopping as the sky lit up for a fraction of a second.

Mizuki stood up and brushed himself of before holding a hand and pulling me up with him.

“We better find somewhere to wait it out,” he said, “or we’ll end up getting sick.”

I nodded numbly and gripped his hand tighter when he tried to pull away. Our eyes met for a split second before we both looked away.

Our awkward moment was cut off by the sound of footsteps and yelling, coming from a large group of people. Their noises were somewhat drowned out by the pouring rain and maybe it was that muffled quality which led me to investigate.

When I reached the mouth of the alley a small group of people pushed right past me, joining another group running from another direction, both groups disappearing around a corner.

Beside me, Mizuki swore under his breath. “They’re really gonna do it in this weather?” he asked nobody.

“What’s going on?” I asked. My question was answered immediately through a familiar presence.

I felt Mizuki trying to pull me in the other direction.

“We should probably –”

I pulled back.

“Let’s go check it out!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhyme. Triplets. Clear. I hate Clear almost as much as i love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one of my ideas for this was that i'd have Sei run into each of the four main guys, but i couldn't really figure out how to do that, and i dont like one character in particular but thaaaats besides the point. but i think Clear is a given. Clear should always be included in any Dmmd things.  
> UNBETAD SO BEAR WITH ME.

Usui.

A doll I had given life to using my Scrap abilities. Now the judge of all _official_ Rhyme games. It – or she, I guess – was just one of the many dolls in existence which harboured a piece of my consciousness.

For a long time I thought the only way I could ever escape the tower was through those dolls. But now, seeing her in front of me, it was surreal.

Her masculine voice rang out through the alley, an ethereal light surrounded her as she addressed the crowds of Rhyme players. And us too, I guess.

Beside me Mizuki was tense. His face was set in an odd mix of disdain and disgust as he took in the sight of everything he didn’t believe in.

“Lighten up,” I said, though I’m sure he couldn’t hear me over the crowd and the rain. So I spoke louder, “This is supposed to be fun!”

I saw him mouth the word _‘fun’_ doubtfully.

I wondered what he was more annoyed by – whether it was the Rhyme game or the fact that we were already drenched and the rain didn’t appear to be letting up. But I didn’t find his attitude frightening like I might have in the tower. It wasn’t like that at all.

I couldn’t see much from where we were; just occasional bursts of light and minor extensions of a world that wasn’t real. But I was really more interested in the people. I wanted to know what kind of people played Rhyme. I had learned from Virus about the sort of people who made money predicting Usui's appearances, and Trip told me about the players who conducted their own, more violent versions of rhyme, but truthfully the people I was surrounded by looked harmless. They were just addicts who needed Rhyme as a way to survive.

I was actually happy to have created their supplier. I understood them better than I would any other type of person.

Mizuki made an annoyed noise which was barely muffled by the roaring sound of thunder, laying the way for yet another burst of lightening. I would never get used to this whole _natural weather_ thing.

“Oh, what?” I asked, deciding to play into his mood.

“I just don’t get it – it’s not _real._ What’s so great about something that only happens in your head?” Mizuki asked me. Of course, as a Rib player, he would have a lot of hate towards Rhyme. But I didn’t think that would be one of the reasons.

“You know, for some people the mind is the only escape from a terrible situation,” I told him. I looked around at the people surrounding us, “How many people here are really happy with themselves, or even with Rhyme?”

I was looking forward, still trying to catch glimpses of Usui, but I could feel Mizuki looking at me. No doubt he was trying to find a hidden meaning in my words when I was sure there was none. It was something he should be able to understand; Rhyme was like a drug to sad and lonely people.

 “So then, what are you trying to say?” he asked.

“I don’t think I understand it completely,” I said, “But don’t we all have things we’d rather not face?”

Rhyme was like a way for people to escape their own towers.

Another burst of lightening seemed to strike at the exact moment that the crackling sound of a megaphone over-powered the rain and boisterous crowds.

"What do you think you're doing??!" A voice screamed from the mouth of the alley.

“Not good,” Mizuki muttered. He grabbed my arm as the crowd instantly began to part and disperse.

In the middle of it Usui remained completely calm, like nothing was happening. It was a scene I vaguely remembered seeing in a dream, or perhaps through her eyes.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHITS!" That same voice screamed through the alley, "YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST!"

Hearing that made me laugh, even as people pushed past us and the strength they put into running away constantly threatened to shove me right off my feet. Who knew getting in trouble could be so much fun! Though maybe it was just the adrenaline and projection of the crowds over-excitement onto my own heart, that made it feel so exhilarating.

But – at the same time I knew if that man, Akushima caught us, I would be taken right back to Oval Tower. That thought made me run faster, pulling Mizuki along with me until we’d beaten the crowds and he stopped, forcing me to as well.

We were right in front of the Junk Shop I’d been left by the day before.

“He probably didn’t see our faces, but we can wait here for a while,” Mizuki said. He pushed me inside – no time for patience – and made sure we hadn’t somehow been followed before coming inside too. I heard him muttering, _“Can’t believe we were almost arrested for a Rhyme game.”_

I _almost_ apologized out of habit, but I knew that wasn’t what he wanted.

The store was big and dust, filled with old bits and pieces on old shelves. It looked like a cross between and auto-store and a literal pile of junk. An odd looking allmate swept past us yelling _“Cleaning”_ when there appeared to be nothing to clean. Its’ sensors must’ve been thrown off by the stores content.

“A friend of mine works here,” Mizuki explained as I continued to look around, “But he’s a heavy sleeper, like you – so he probably won’t show up until later. That’s probably for the best though; you don’t look up to meeting any new people right now.”

I shook my head in agreement. Although running from the law was exciting it was also emotionally draining – as everything else tended to be for me. I wasn’t ready to do _anything_ other than stand around and pretend to be interested in a bunch of crap I had no use for, and wait for the rain to pass.

“Is it another one of your team members?” I asked idly.

“No – he doesn’t want to get involved in Rib, or Rhyme,” Mizuki said. “Doesn’t want to get a tattoo either,” he muttered, as though it was such a strange concept.

We weren’t there very long before the door opened again, a little bell ringing to alert the presence of new customers – or in this case the presence of three kids, who tumbled in one after the other. There were two boys and one girl, they looked like triplets but I couldn’t be sure.

Today really _was_ an exciting day; I hadn’t seen a child up close since I was one.

The kids poked around the store and the counter in front for a few moments. The allmate tried to avoid them and when it looked like they were about to take chase the girl seemed to notice there were other people there. The oldest looking boy spoke first.

“Oi, where’s the pervert guy who usually works here?” he asked.

“Did he get _fired?”_ the girl asked.

“Do _you_ work here now?” asked the other boy.

Then they all leaned forward, uncomfortably close.

“Are _you_ a pervert _too?”_ the girl asked.

“Of course! _All_ adults are like that!”

I was beginning to realise these kids, deceiving as they may be, weren’t the pillars of innocence they seemed to be.

“Wh-what’s happening?” I asked Mizuki, who was busy pretending not to pay attention.

“It’s just kids,' he said, _“children_.”

His reiteration was a sure sign that he was teasing me. Like I didn’t know what _anything_ was in the real world.

“Yeah but –”

But who was I to judge the actions of children? When I was that size I was on drugs. Not willingly – but that was hardly the point.

The kids lost interest in me really quickly. Maybe it was Mizuki’s pretend disinterest in the situation which caused them to walk away.

The girl sighed wistfully and said “i can’t believe he got fired.”

“Yeah I can’t believe that _baldy_ finally came to his senses,” the older boy said.

The store’s atmosphere became ominous as soon as those words were said. A man appeared behind the counter as if from nowhere, a dark aura surrounding him.

'What did you kids say?” He bit out. He looked like he would be much nicer under different circumstances.

The children all turned to stare at him, their playful attitudes having disappeared. The girl was the first to speak.

“Kio look what you did!” She complained.

“Ah, he didn’t mean it,” the younger said.

“Oi Mio, Nao stop speaking for me!' Kio exclaimed. “I’m not afraid of this old man.”

I felt something tugging on my sleeve and turned to stare at Mizuki, who I’d almost forgotten about completely. I wasn’t sure whether to find the spectacle in front of me funny or terrifying, though Mizuki acted like it was one of those mundane everyday things, which shouldn’t be thought of twice.

“We should go,” he whispered.

I nodded and let him lead me back outside, where the rain was beginning to let up. There were patches of blue sky along the horizon and the clouds that were still littering the sky weren’t so dark anymore. We were still wet from the rain before, and I was only now taking notice of the familiar cold which accompanied wet clothes, but before I had the chance to even shiver or try curling up on myself, Mizuki had an arm around me, rubbing my arm as though trying to warm me up.

“We should probably go home – if you’ve never seen rain before you’ve probably never had a cold either,” he said, “How important is this thing you’re looking for?”

Part of me was mad that he didn’t think Aoba was the single most important thing in the world, while the other part was concerned how comfortable the word _home_ made me feel. I couldn’t forget where my home really was, so I shook it off.

“What we’re looking for is literally more important than your life,” I said.

Mizuki hummed. “Sounds like something a terrorist would say.” When I didn’t say anything in retaliation he said, “But – you’re not one, right?”

I laughed.

“Not telling~”

I walked a little ahead, containing anymore laughter as Mizuki chased after me, demanding to know whether I was or wasn’t. Not that either way would’ve mattered. I was lucky to have been found by a kind-hearted person, and not one who’s heart was just as rotten inside as those who’d kept me in the tower.

I was going to fuel the fire, maybe mess with his mind a little, but any words I’d been thinking of fell back down my throat when I collided with another person. I’d been so focussed on messing with Mizuki that I forgot to watch where I was going.

“I’m sorry!” a familiar voice exclaimed, two strong arms gripping my shoulders.

 Looked up, apologizing as well  though much quieter – to see who I would have to pry away from me, only to end up biting my tongue in a blind panic.

If I had given into the urge to run right then, I never would’ve noticed that the man – _robot_ – standing before me was _not_ one of the alpha’s come to drag me back. While it was very likely they _had_ been sent out to get me, this was no one of them.

“This is all my fault, I’m _really_ sorry!” he exclaimed, shaking me slightly.

“It’s alright,” I said, prying his fingers from my shoulders, “I’m fine, no harm done, right?”

No he wasn’t one of the alphas. This was the defective unit I’d heard about – Clear.

“Really, you’re not mad?” he asked. If not for the gasmask covering his face, he would look exactly like the alphas. He tilted his head and leaned in closer to me, his gasmask eyes trying to look into mine, “Wait, don’t I know you from somewhere?” he asked.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” I told him, averting my eyes and hoping he wouldn’t recognise my ability. Chances were he wasn’t self-aware like the newer models, so even if he did recognise me, he wouldn’t know what to do about it.

“You’re right,” he said, “sorry.”

He backed off completely and scooted around me awkwardly. It had stopped raining completely by then but he unfolded and umbrella and continued to walk away like nothing had happened at all, humming a song I’m certain I’ve heard before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please if you have not already, go and listen to this story's' namesake 'Angels on the Moon' by Thriving Ivory (i think thats the name?) without that song this monstrosity would likely not exist.


	7. have i ever even titled a chapter???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koujaku and Beni make an appearance here so get ready for some shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the longest two weeks ever, right? haha not that anybody is actually reading this pile of crap. lets see what do i have to say about this one????  
> Basically i really love Beni, I had originally cut his part from this story but i love him so much i had to improvise a way in for him. I love Koujaku too but in a special way c:

Silence hung heavy between me and the strange man who had seen fit to sit at my table. Mizuki had been gone no less than ten seconds, off to explore the possibilities presented by copious amounts of street food vendors, when the afore mentioned strange man slid into place across from me. I wasn’t sure if this was a normal occurrence so I didn’t dare say a word. Silence hung _heavily_ between us.

That wasn’t to say silence was all that inhabited the street. No, it seemed many people had seen fit to take shelter here, where tables were mostly covered by large umbrellas and awnings, and the smells of various deep fried street foods offered a secondary reason to stick through the cold. The sound of senseless chatter filled the air as well as the constant drip-drip of leftover raindrops hitting shallow puddles but none of it seemed as loud as the utter silence between me and this strange man, who although had taken a seat across from me, seemed content to ignore me.

His allmate was a tiny red sparrow and when he tumbled onto the table in front of me I couldn’t help but say, “What a cute bird.”

My words seemed to have broken the invisible silence barrier between us. The small bird jumped, as though shocked that I could even speak, and said, “Hey who’re you calling cute?”

I had to hold back a laugh at the birds haughty attitude which contrasted with his tiny stature.

“It’s a _compliment,”_ I said.

“Well keep it to yourself!” the bird said, fluffing himself up in a way that made him seem even cuter.

“Oi Beni, don’t be rude.”

The man across from me finally spoke, addressing the allmate briefly before going right back to ignoring me. Fortunately it wasn’t long before Mizuki returned, sliding into the seat next to me and placing a small plastic plate in front of me. It held several flat, golden brown circles on it and beside that was a tiny tub of shiny golden liquid.

“Sorry that took so long princess,” he said, “I wasn’t sure what you wanted to eat.” Then he said to himself, _“Everybody likes pancakes.”_

I didn’t say anything; I just stared across the table uncomfortably and waited for Mizuki to notice. He _did_ notice, but not in the way I had wanted.

He let out a resigned sigh and said, “Why are you here?” almost like this was an everyday occurrence.

“If you don’t want me showing up to your dates, you shouldn’t invite me,” the man said.

“I didn’t _invite_ you,” Mizuki said.

“What are you talking about? You called me this morning.”

“ _You_ called _me._ And I told you not to come over today because I had a guest who _isn’t interested in meeting you.”_

I stared between them, trying not to laugh. If all of Mizuki’s friends were this interesting I’d definitely want to meet more. But – in smaller doses. And with prior warning.

The man laughed, leaning back in his chair, “Weren’t your exact words –”

“ _Don’t come over._ How does that translate into _follow me in the streets till you get a chance to swoop in?”_

“I don’t see how it could mean anything else,” Beni said.

Mizuki gave another resigned sigh, again acting as though this were something which happened a lot and that it would be easier just to go with it. He turned to me and said, “Sei, this is my sometimes friend Koujaku.”

 “ _Sometimes?”_ Koujaku asked, catching the extra word accompanying his introduction.

_“Rude,”_ Beni said.

I hid a smile behind my hand.

Really I thought Koujaku was every bit as cute as his allmate. Like a big fluff-ball – metaphorically in his case. I liked him instantly, after getting past the initial awkwardness he’d dragged with him. There was just something natural about being around him, or maybe it was the fact that Mizuki seemed to trust him, despite their strange relationship.

The two of them fell into conversation. I drowned out their words and just listened to the sound of their voices. It was comforting in a way that should have scared me.

 We’d only come to this street because my stomach refused to keep quiet any longer. I hadn’t eaten in more than forty-eight hours – though I’d gone longer before – and the small growling from my stomach was accompanied by a lingering possibility of throwing up. Mizuki refused to be the kind of host who would let his guest starve and because he didn’t have any food in his apartment, we’d ended up here.

I poked at the small pile with the tiny plastic fork, wondering if it’s primary ingredient was poison.

I’d been fed a mix of soup and various foul tasting liquid meals my entire life while recovering from various surgeries. Sometimes they stuffed me full of sesame crackers after detoxing from whatever drug they’d seen fit to addict me to. Obviously I was wary of most things out here but the smell of this food almost convinced me it would be worth it.

“It’s not going to bite you!”

I looked up to the middle of the table where Beni had been watching me the entire time, apparently getting annoyed. Koujaku and Mizuki seemed to be in another space with no room for Beni at that time. Mizuki seemed to be actively avoiding watching me eat, suspecting it would make me uncomfortable.

I looked down at Beni and gave a false smile.

“You really _are_ cute,” I said. I reached over to pet the top of his head, wondering idly if he’d bite me.

Beni didn’t respond this time but fluffed himself up a little more, the aggressive action was quite endearing. Still I couldn’t distract my stomach forever. With a little more prompting from Beni I broke off the tiniest piece of the top circle, dipping it lightly into the container beside it and bringing it to my mouth, my nose was scrunched up the entire time. But as soon as that first crumb hit my tongue I knew I’d almost made a big mistake by not trying it.

I tried not to show it, but I’d never tasted anything so good! Flat brown circles – who’d have known? I wasted no time pouring the sauce over the rest of the stack and shovelling it into my mouth. I would have to remember to ask for more of this if they ever forgave me in Oval Tower.

“Told you,” Beni said, sounding smug.

I definitely did _not_ pout.

I sat back, _not pouting_ , and eating much slower so as not to give Beni further satisfaction. I listened to Mizuki and Koujaku talking, after a while Beni hopped closer to their side of the table and began chiming in every now and then. This was such a nice side of the world; the opposite of what Virus and Trip had dropped me into yesterday.

Maybe that was there intention; to frighten me by plunging me into a false version of the world. If I felt like the world was full and fast all the time then maybe I would go crawling back to them, willing to pay _twice_ their original price just to go back home. The world they’d thrown me into wasn’t a complete lie, but I was learning slowly that there was more than just one side.

It wasn’t until Mizuki brought up Rhyme that I was drawn right into the conversation.

“Rhyme? In this weather?” Koujaku asked. He muttered, _“Kids these days.”_

“Careful, you’re starting to sound like an old man,” Mizuki teased.

“Like you’re any better!” Koujaku barked.

Beni, who had settled on top of his owners head, looked at me warily. “Even when they agree they don’t agree.”

“Like children,” I stated.

“It’s psychotic!” Koujaku said in reply, “a bunch of brats running around fighting in their heads –”

“Don’t bother with Sei,” Mizuki said.

Koujaku stopped mid-rant and stared at me for a moment.

“What are you, some kind of Rhyme advocate?” he asked.

Without thinking about it I said, “Why, do you want to play with me?” which is how I knew I was _too_ comfortable. It was the sort of thing I would say to one of the Alpha’s and would be brushed off with a laugh and a, _“yeah, you wish.”_ But out here those words were just a mistake.

“Sei, you can’t say things like that to men like Koujaku,” Mizuki stage whispered. I could see how much effort he put into keeping back his laughter.

Beni put no effort in at all, laughing obnoxiously and saying, “Yeah, you might as well just strip.”

I felt my face heating up and rushed to cover it with my hands. This wasn’t just a matter of me messing up in the real world; it was about the real world being messed up.

Koujaku’s face was on fire and he exclaimed, “Hey, quit making me sound like some kind of pervert!”

I laughed behind my hand. Maybe those kids were right about adults.

* * *

 

“Sorry. I guess I haven’t been very helpful today.”

The streets were mostly empty where we were now. We’d sat at that table for nearly two hours before Mizuki suggested leaving. At that time I wondered idly if Koujaku would follow us home, but so far it didn’t seem like he had.

We were in a more residential area where the road was lit mainly by dull moonlight and unevenly placed streetlights. Clouds covered most of the sky and stars, still leftover from the thin storm earlier. It was going to rain again tomorrow. We’d been walking for so long, I was worried we were going to get lost. Though maybe I was too tired to gauge just how long it had been. Mizuki had taken my hand somewhere along the way and I felt uncomfortably comfortable with his touch. I knew I could say no if I was scared and that fact alone scared the hell out of me.

“It’s fine,” I said absently. “I don’t mind going home with you.”

“You make it sound like I picked you up at a bar or something.”

“We could pretend if you like,” I said. I smiled at the embarrassed look on Mizuki’s face.

“What’s with you?” he finally asked. “You’ve been acting weird this whole day.” As if he would know.

I smiled and leaned against him, letting out a content sigh. “Today’s been just the best day,” I said.

“Really?”

“Yeah! Rain, near-arrest, sexually-harassing your friend. All I usually do at home is read. Oh, I’ll have to remember to ask for pancakes when I go back – that’s what they’re called, right?”

Mizuki made a disapproving noise and I looked up to see his smile had fallen – never a good sign. It put me on edge for a few seconds.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I was sure the day had gone perfectly.

“It’s just – this is the first time you’ve mentioned home… or going back.”

“Of course,” I said, “it had to happen sometime.” I continued walking but he dragged me back, walking several paces slower than he had been before. I looked back at him and put on my biggest, most reassuring smile. “It’ll be okay,” I told him and I’m sure he believed me, or maybe he was too tired to think properly. I squeezed his hand and pulled him back into step.

Back at the Black Needle we spent a very small amount of time in the waiting room which was still filled with people – though the number was far less than it had been that morning. Upstairs I was able to experience my first-ever hot shower – also doesn’t the concept of a single-stall shower seems a little strange and isolated? – which was great after an entire lifetime of cold water and tears. Mizuki let me borrow some of his clothes since mine were still a little wet from the rain. His clothes were a little big for me but they seemed infinitely warmer and more comfortable, perhaps just because they were his.

I curled up in bed while he poked about in the kitchen, having already showered and dressed. I knew there was no food already as we’d had that conversation earlier and I didn’t keep my eyes open so he could apologise again. I was nearly asleep when I felt the covers pull back to my left, and so didn’t think much of it when he climbed into bed beside me. It felt natural to have his arms around me, though the cautious nature of his touch was somewhat of a downer – it just served as a reminder that I had broken in front of him too many times.

“I really am sorry about today,” he mumbled against the back of my head. This time didn’t sound as genuine as before I’d brought up going home. “We can try again tomorrow – hopefully we’ll have more luck with… whatever it is.”

I hummed to show I was listening, but for a while I was too comfortable to talk. I was sure I’d never been so warm in my life and I’d definitely never felt so safe. I’d been tired for more than twenty years, certainly I deserved a little rest. I was just beginning to slip into that sweet dreamless darkness that had always been _sleep_ for me, when I heard it.

“It’s my brother.” My voice was betraying me. I felt Mizuki tense slightly with this new titbit of information. “I’m here to find my little brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know when the next chapter will be but that prolly wont effect anybody anyway!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mizuki can't cook and Sei has issues. So what else is new??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooooooooooooooo my hiatus isn't over. not that anyone cares. i'll do my best to finish this story but i don't make any promises.

It was raining when I woke up. The storm had returned for a second go and there was no way we were going outside. I still wanted to find Aoba – more than anything in the world! But I didn’t want to get sick. My health was bad enough as it was. I didn’t want to die from a common cold.

Mizuki said the rain would let up by the next day. He suggested I use the time between then to collect my thoughts. Instead I spent it parked in front of the window, watching the world stay still and waiting for life to catch up to me.

It must’ve been mid-afternoon by the time I got up. Mizuki claimed to have tried waking me. I didn’t believe I was as heavy a sleeper as he said; it was more likely that he was too gentle with me.

Mizuki promised to buy milk and sugar that day after my second cup of bitter coffee. He cringed the whole time while I was drinking it but really I didn’t mind the taste. It was a lot better than the sickly sweet medicine I’d have forced down my throat. The taste would hang off my tongue for days after, while the bitterness of coffee only stayed on my teeth until the next thing I put in my mouth washed it away.

Mizuki was gone. He had been for a few hours. He’d been working in the studio most of the morning and had left again to _‘run a few errands.’_ It took longer than I’d like to admit, to convince myself he wasn’t going to abandon me. And even if he did, it wasn’t like I would be alone for long. Sooner or later I would return to my tower and blink away my happiness like the remnants of a perfect dream I wasn’t permitted to have.

I was completely calm with that thought stuck in my head. It was something I’d known from the start, even before making the deal to leave. Unless I could find a way off the island there was no way I’d ever be free.

I continued to sip cold coffee and stare blankly out the window. I was still wrapped loosely in Mizuki’s borrowed shirt. I tried not to grow attached to the smell.

I was going to miss his apartment. It was so plain – so _ordinary._ And to me, ordinary had such a beautiful taste.

I stared into the bottom of my empty mug. My large black eyes blinked back at me. I saw no life reflected there. Was that what Mizuki saw to?

My reverie was cut mercifully short. The door opened and closed. I heard the rustle of plastic bags and the jingle of keys.

“I’m home,” Mizuki called out. The words were so simple but they made my heart jump.

“Welcome back,” I said.

I listened as he removed his shoes. I continued to stare out the window, watching the world remain frozen in time.

“I thought you’d be back in bed,” Mizuki said. I could picture him scratching at the back of his head, an aloof smile on his face.

“I’m too awake to sleep.”

I heard him laugh from the kitchen.

“Did you drink the entire pot?” he asked.

“It’ll snow soon, won’t it?”

Mizuki hummed in response. “Not for at least a month,” he said.

“That’s too bad. I’d love to see it snow just once.”

For the next little while I listened to the sound of food being put away, followed by the sound of pots rattling, and echoing their own lack of use. If I’d looked back I would’ve been shocked to see the stove actually worked and the rest of the kitchen wasn’t as empty as I’d thought. He didn’t say anything for a while and I listened to water running, plastic ripping, and rain falling. It didn’t take long for him to return to my side, placing a warm bowl of soupy noodles in my lap.

I swished my fork around, eyeing the meal suspiciously.

“Is this edible?” I asked.

“I hope so.”

Mizuki lifted the fork to his mouth cautiously, looking almost afraid. Not even a second after his first taste, he reached over trying to snatch the bowl away from me. He made a face somewhere between amusement as disgust when I turned away and began shovelling noodles into my mouth. The taste was salty and somehow bitter. I wasn’t sure how noodles were supposed to taste but I was sure he’d done it wrong.

“That’s disgusting,” he said, still watching me. To himself he said, “How did I mess up noodles?”

The heaviness of his voice caused me to laugh. It started small but quickly erupted into hysterics as I continued struggling against him. Hot water and noodles spilled onto the carpet when the bowl tipped over in my hands. I mourned the loss of my questionable meal, even as my continued struggling sent us tumbling to the ground, the second bowl spilling over us.

There were noodles all over my hair and face. As a last act of resistance I slurped up a noodle hanging over my mouth.

Mizuki looked like he might laugh for a moment, before he stopped. We seemed to realize our position at the same time; sprawled on the ground, Mizuki holding himself up over me. I stared up into his sea foam eyes and he stared back, a light pink colouring his cheeks.

My breathing grew weaker the longer he stared. When he leaned down to kiss me I stopped breathing altogether.

I knew how this game went, and so I gave in immediately to avoid any bruises or cuts. My mind was ready to shut down, like it always did in this situation.

I kissed back, bringing a hand up to tangle in his hair and pull him closer. A sharp gasp left me when I felt his teeth scrape against my bottom lip, too gentle to hurt but just enough to send a pleasant spark through my body. He repeated the small action and I found myself arching up to get closer to him, willing him to touch me the same way he had before – to remove every bad memory carved into my skin and replace them with his touch.

A small moan left my throat. I opened my mouth willingly. Every flick of his tongue against mine, had me pulling him closer, practically begging for something more.

His hand dragged up my side, pulling the shirt up with it and exposing my pale stomach to his wandering fingers. The touches were gentle and sweet, as though he was afraid of breaking me. The thought send a shiver through my entire body and I didn’t know what that meant. My body was shaking – my heart pounding, and I found suddenly that I couldn’t breathe.

A sharp gasp left my throat when Mizuki tore away from me. He withdrew completely. His expression was unreadable – something I’d never seen before – and it was only then that I realized I was crying.

Tiny sobs wracked my body. Once I’d started I couldn’t stop. I pulled my hands up to cover my face. my nails dug sharply into my cheeks. I watched Mizuki stand, through parted fingers. His hands were shaking.

“Sorry,” he said quietly. It wasn’t the frantic, layered apology I was used to. It was too small. Too _disgusted._ “I-I’m sorry,” he repeated.

He didn’t look at me – he actively avoided looking at me. The world was spinning around me; reality was disappearing and I clenched my eyes shut tight. The last connection I had to reality, snapped when the door to the apartment slammed shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably (definitely) be sex in one of the near future chapters, unless someone advises me not to do that.


End file.
